To all you lovely ladies that are responsible for some form of house care, farm care, or just general family care, have you ever been in the middle of your chores and then all the sudden had a “lightbulb moment”? I’m sure you have but have you ever thought about your “unimportant seeming”, mundane tasks actually being an intrinsic part of your mental clarity and general health as a woman? I know most of us would rather have fewer chores, so you’re probably thinking, “You’re crazy. It totally sounds bonkers that these things could even possibly be “healthy” for me! In fact, chores stress me out to keep up with and I resent doing them.” Don’t assume though! There is a lot more depth to this little topic than you think. Just a few weeks ago I had one of these “lightbulb moments” – and it really made me be more grateful for my simple duties instead of resentful or stressed about them. I thought it was worth sharing and I pray it’s an encouragement to you. :)
Right after Marshall’s Christmas break ended and he had to return to his studies so far from us – the “to do” list was haunting me! I had been letting many chores pile up toward the end of his visit because I was trying to make sure I didn’t miss any moment we could spend together before he had to leave again. It was a day or two after he left that I remember being a generally great day (besides missing him) – the sun was shining, Marion darlin’ was happy and easy (as almost always), but I just kept letting the little things get to me. I was even annoyed with myself how very easily irritated I was. Marshall called in the middle of me trying to fix dinner in a messy kitchen and I tried to answer excited to hear his voice (it isn’t guaranteed he is available to catch up every day with his school load and our schedules clashing often). Unfortunately, my effort to enjoy the phone call and be enjoyable to speak to was drowned out by a thousand unorganized thoughts spinning through my mind and the haunting whisper of THAT TO-DO LIST. It wasn’t until Marshall let me know he had to go, that I realized how I sounded… I felt horrible that I mostly vented, complained, sounded frantic, and probably just added to his stress… Okay - definitely just added to his stress! What I really want is to be a beautiful, peaceful, revitalizing, safe haven for him – especially during his school stress! A few seconds later when I was elbows deep in suds trying to catch up on dishes and find a certain dish I needed so I could even start cooking, I suddenly felt a ton of bricks lifted off my shoulders!
Somehow the repetitive, mundane task of washing dishes helped my nerves settle – I remembered to pray and listen for God’s guidance – the most important thing that had been lacking in my chaotic couple days and truly why I had let my emotions overwhelm me. Thankfully, once recognizing this, my heart and mind literally instantaneously found peace and I was reminded to be more present, grateful, and satisfied with accomplishing what I was accomplishing at that moment! ! ! I gave up the worthless life-wasting attitude of being anxious about whatever was next on the list! That attitude doesn’t make me a good wife and it’s certainly not healthy - period. I had the urge to be prideful and just be happy that I felt better and that be the end of it… Very quickly I changed my mind and decided I wanted to call Marshall back because it was right to apologize and I knew it would help me ACTUALLY remember and APPLY this little nugget of enlightenment in the future instead of repeating foolishness... I launched for the phone, called him, and said I was sorry first thing in a brand new featherlight voice… I told him how I realized what I sounded like and that I wanted to be better than that... Then I burst with thankfulness and excitement and exclaimed to him how the Holy Spirit had just worked in me and how this is such an affirmation to why God ordained women to be nurturing, dutiful, help-meets, general care-givers, keepers of the home and relationship cultivators/ community builders, which all involve mundane “seemingly unimportant” duties to some extent or another. It’s really no wonder – He DID create us and design every last fiber of our innate nature as a woman - our weaknesses, our strengths, and each of our personalized gifts and passions as individuals. He knows our limits. He knows our potential. He absolutely knows what is best for us better than anyone else… (YES - better than ourselves!) God made no mistake in bestowing upon us women the high honor of being help-meets to our husband. This is not “oppressive” as modern, secular culture will tell you – it is a HIGH honor – for many reasons, but mostly because, in turn, you represent the extremely important relation between Church and Jesus Christ and how the church and Christians should function. You, the submissive wife, represent the symbol of the church and your husband, represents Jesus Christ, as He is the head of the church. (Ephesians 5:22-33)
Like most Christians, I know this logically, but my naturally sinful human nature gets the best of me at times and for this I am grateful the Holy Spirit lives within me and guides me and I can find comfort in my personal relationship with Jesus. Taking time first thing each morning to spend in prayer and studying is no doubt an essential habit to be proactive in keeping a present, productive, faithful, and joyful character, but I believe there really is something to the feminine nature that benefits so immensely from daily habitual processes and the mindfulness and creativity of homemaking… With all the technology and constant inventions that make our lives “easier”, we somehow forget that maybe progress on our terms of what is “good for us” isn’t ultimately the best progress for us. For example, now that women have self-run vacuum cleaners, washing machines, prepackaged meals, every “free” government program possible to pawn their children off to, and goodness – even “Alexa” to turn on their music for them – they probably seek more “psychiatric therapy sessions” and prescription drugs to handle their anxiety than women from a 100 years or so ago… Studies on women’s happiness declining in modern times are pretty easy to find, though really unnecessary because it’s obvious (message me if you’d like me to send you a flood of links to data and research on the topic).
I’m not claiming this is the “ultimate cure” to women's anxiety or depression. I just know the value in our simple duties is often overlooked and women complain too much about it as if we would be better off without them completely… Would we? Well, if I may explain one last point of perspective here, I would say it would depend on HOW we used that free time… For example, if the most high-class and wealthy of Southern Belle back in the day had househelp and did not lay her finger on dishes or sweeping or such, I assure you she was spending her time enhancing her femininity - NOT watching TV or scrolling social media or worse... posting feminist memes and godless "social justice" propaganda on that social media just to fit in or be liked by the world! Just a few possibilities of her whereabouts may be finding her reading sophisticated literature (the Bible included), perhaps sewing or knitting something delightful, playing the piano, or socializing warmly of course – part of being an excellent natural community builder. The main point here is that all of these things (and there are so many more fine examples) gave these women time to draw closer to God, process their emotions in a healthy way, and prioritize their energy properly – thus enjoying life more really – if you ask me. This is in stark contrast to what society pushes on women as “normal” and even “sexy” today! The current trend of being “MRS. BOSS BABE” killing it in your big-time career, running a million miles an hour to try to keep up with the Jones’s, and sacrificing family time to make sure you’re “fulfilling your individual potential as an intelligent, powerful woman” – is really not leaving much time for fellowship with the Lord (not to mention that it’s NOT honoring our ordained role as women to NOT prioritize being a help-meet to our husbands, raising our children, and making our home a welcoming place)...
None of us are perfect – males have their own unique weaknesses. Women happen to suffer from anxiety more easily because of our more tender and vulnerable spirit (which comes from our gift to have more empathy and nurturing ability than men). How each of us chooses to handle our anxiety all boils down to who we put our trust in… I for one think very highly of women from the olden days that did everything from scratch, as well as those women that were born into a wealthy family and could focus more on just enhancing their femininity… And I also REALLY appreciate my vacuum cleaner and washing machine! I just want to guard my heart and mind and not allow modern “progress” for the sake of “convenience” to distant me from the value I know my honorable God-given roles and duty holds.
I pray you are encouraged today to embrace your duties with a new mindful, purposeful attitude and draw closer to God through them – and in turn – be a more radiant soul other women can’t help but be inspired by as well!
God bless you, lovely ladies!
Sincerely,
Megan Elise
Comments